Dark Thoughts In Need Of Dark Voice-Overs

RegularJOE (Director) Featured Comment: "You’re a great writer! This made me laugh, but also had a lot of deeper meanings beneath the humor. I particularly liked the one about the mime, the tooth fairy, the four words, and "I’m not religious". But I think probably any of them could work if a voice-over artist found an inspired way to give a dark/funny reading. Voice-over artists… you’re up!" CONTRIBUTE HERE

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Dark Thoughts In Need Of Dark Voice-Overs contributed by humberfloob:

* “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it and it lands on a mime and it kills the mime and we had a party to celebrate the killing of the mime would you come? Yes or no answer.”

* “Me: There’s no such thing as the ‘Tooth Fairy’. Kid: Well, where do all the teeth go then? Me: The ‘Tooth Monster’. Kid: Why does it give me money then? Me: To buy your soul.”

* “For me, the human condition can be summed up in four words - the needless focussing on trivial and irrelevant details - and the fact that you immediately want to yell, ’Hey! That’s more than four words’ proves my point.”

* “I’m not religious but if I was I’d choose one of them religions that tell other people what they can and can’t do and threaten them with stuff if they don’t obey.”

CONTRIBUTE HERE
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VISUAL ARTISTS: Contribute Visuals for hitRECord Around The World.
ANIMATORS: Animate these Visuals.
VOICE OVER ARTISTS: Contribute a Voice Over performance of these two lines:
Intro: ”And now we bring you stories from hitRECord around the world.” 
Outro: ”Thanks for tuning into this installment of hitRECord around the world.”

CONTRIBUTE HERE

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VISUAL ARTISTS: Contribute Visuals for hitRECord Around The World.

ANIMATORS: Animate these Visuals.

VOICE OVER ARTISTS: Contribute a Voice Over performance of these two lines:

  • Intro: ”And now we bring you stories from hitRECord around the world.” 
  • Outro: ”Thanks for tuning into this installment of hitRECord around the world.”
GETTING TO KNOW YOUR MOM SCRIPT

CONTRIBUTE HERE

VOICE OVER ARTISTS: Please refer to this script when contributing your Voice Over performances of The Narrator & Sally.

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GETTING TO KNOW YOUR MOM: AN EDUCATIONAL FILM

- Fade in to reveal a the title of our short, ‘GETTING TO KNOW YOUR MOM.’

- Cross fade through different shots of moms holding and caring for their children.

NARRATOR: Mothers… It’s been said that they know best. But what do we know about them? Who were they before they were ‘Mom?’ To answer that question, we’ll have to go back before even you were born.

SALLY: Who me?

NARRATOR: That’s right, Sally. It wasn’t that long ago that your mom was your age.

SALLY: My Age?

NARRATOR: That’s right. But back then your mom wasn’t, well, your mom yet.

SALLY: Then, who was she?

NARRATOR: Well, she was just like you.

- SALLY looks doubtful.

NARRATOR: Here, let me show you.

- SALLY sits down and watches attentively.

NARRATOR (Cont.): You see, in her youth, your mom focused on things like friends…

- MOM (14) walks with her friends - laughing and talking.

NARRATOR (Cont.): Boys…

- She and her friends giggle as a few guys walk by.

NARRATOR (Cont.): …And school.

- She sits in a library and reads a book, her large glasses prominent.

NARRATOR (Cont.): Remind you of anyone?

- SALLY gasps, takes off her own simmilar large glasses and hides them behind her back.

NARRATOR (Cont.): Don’t believe me, huh?

- SALLY shakes her head, petulant.

NARRATOR (Cont.): Well gee, you have hopes don’t ya?

SALLY: Yeah…

NARRATOR: …And dreams?

SALLY: Uh Huh (yes)

NARRATOR: Well so did your mom! (aside) Until you came along.

SALLY: (concerned) Wait. What?

NARRATOR: Whoa there Sally, that’s jumping a little too far ahead. Your mom had a lot of growing up to do before you arrived…

- MOM (18) sits in a college dorm room. A YOUNG MAN knocks on the door. The screen freezes just as the YOUNG MAN smiles.

SALLY: Hey, wait a minute; that’s not my dad!

NARRATOR: No shit! The truth is…

- SALLY leans forward.

NARRATOR (Cont.): …Before she met your dad, your mom dated other people.

SALLY: Other people?

NARRATOR: She sure did.

SALLY: How many?

NARRATOR: Well, let’s see. There was Brian…

-A JOCK catches a football and poses for the camera.

BRIAN: Sup.

NARRATOR: Chaz…

-A tall, tattooed guy, with cut up jeans and a mohawk, nods and snarls at the camera while he holds a ‘nerdy’ student upside down.

NARRATOR: (Faster cuts of guys waving at the camera flash up on the screen as the Narrator reads off the list) There was Michael, John, Enrique, Steve…

- SALLY’s eyes widen as the list continues to flash up on screen…

NARRATOR: …Jean-Pierre, Lazy Dave… Chris, Brian, Jennifer…

SALLY: Jennifer!?

NARRATOR: The point is, when she was at school your mom had a lot going on.

SALLY: But then she became my mom, right?

NARRATOR: Wrong!

SALLY: There’s more?

NARRATOR: And how.

-We PAN LEFT from a building entrance.

NARRATOR: After your mom graduated college, everything started falling into place for her. She had her dream job…

- MOM (25) seen shaking hands with her boss, smiling at camera.

NARRATOR: her dream car…

-She shakes hands with a salesman, same pose, smiling at camera.

NARRATOR: …she even met your father.

- Mom and Dad shake hands at the altar - exactly the same pose.

NARRATOR: Yes, everything was going just as planned. That was, until August 10th, 2004.

SALLY: Hey, that’s my birthday.

NARRATOR: That’s right!

SALLY: But that means…

NARRATOR: Don’t worry Sally, some of the best things in life AREN’T planned. Your mom found that out on the day you were born.

-We ZOOM IN on MOM (28) holding her child

-SALLY smiles, and proudly puts her large glasses back on.

NARRATOR: (encouragingly) There ya go.

-We FADE OUT from SALLY and FADE IN to the NARRATOR walking towards and talking to the camera.

NARRATOR: So what do you know about your mom? Maybe you’ve already asked all the important questions. Maybe you’re afraid to ask. Either way, you should try…

- Quick ZOOM IN on the NARRATOR’s face.

NARRATOR: …GETTING TO KNOW YOUR MOM!

- The title, ‘Getting to Know Your Mom’ WIPES onto the screen as the NARRATOR says it.

MUSIC PLAYS OUT

CONTRIBUTE HERE

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VOICE OVER ARTISTS: Contribute Voice Over performances of both the Narrator & Girl from THIS SCRIPT.

CALLING ALL FREAKS!

Grab your cameras & get freaky on your front lawn for our TV show’s Punk Rock music video "Front Lawn Freak."

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FREAKS: Film yourself freakin’ on a front lawn. Please refer to THIS ROUGH CUT for audio/visual. Be as creative as you’d like - but make sure you film on your own property or have permission to film at that location.

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Contribute to the “FRONT LAWN FREAK” collab HERE!

CALLING ALL ACTORS!

For our Music Video “The Spaces Between” we’re building a world of people standing around in a white void. We’ve got a Rough Cut of the Second Verse HERE, so let’s continue to get more Actors playing the people of this world.

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ACTORS: RECord yourself performing - in a very subtle way - the following shots on a Green Screen or White Wall:

1) Head-to-Toe Shot   /   2) Close-Up Shot   /   3) Overhead Shot

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Contribute to “THE SPACES BETWEEN” collab HERE!

ACTORS: Portray the Cousins that lie down next to the Protagonist from "First Stars I See Tonight" by filming each of these two shots against a Green Screen. CONTRIBUTE HERE
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Here are notes on the shots:
SHOT 1: Lying down, from the side.
SHOT 2: Lying down, full body shot, from directly overhead.
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IMPORTANT NOTE: Please use a Tripod when filming.
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Thanks again <3
J

ACTORS: Portray the Cousins that lie down next to the Protagonist from "First Stars I See Tonight" by filming each of these two shots against a Green Screen. CONTRIBUTE HERE

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Here are notes on the shots:

SHOT 1: Lying down, from the side.

SHOT 2: Lying down, full body shot, from directly overhead.

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IMPORTANT NOTE: Please use a Tripod when filming.

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Thanks again <3

J

ACTORS: Portray one of the two Cousins in THIS SHORT FILM. Please film yourself against a Green Screen - using a tripod - for the 2 Shots in THIS SHOT REFERENCE. CONTRIBUTE HERE

ILLUSTRATORS: Trace over ONE OF THESE IMAGES & contribute your illustration to the collaboration. This can be any illustrative style you’d like, but it should be relatively simple & a style that could be easily replicated dozens & dozens of times. CONTRIBUTE HERE

ACTORS: Film a :15 or less Death Scene w/ high contrast lighting. CONTRIBUTE HERE

MUSICIANS: Film yourself playing along to joerud’s song ”Adieu.” CONTRIBUTE HERE

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NOTEAll contributions must be uploaded by Monday, September 9th.

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Come work w/ us!

WATCH TODAY&#8217;S REGULARITY HERE!
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ACTORS &amp; FILMMAKERS: Shoot or Act out a Comical Death Scene - it can be a quick death, a murder, or anything you&#8217;d like. CONTRIBUTE HERE
FILM COMPOSERS: Compose a Musical Score for our Short Film "First Stars I See Tonight." CONTRIBUTE HERE
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Come work w/ us!

WATCH TODAY’S REGULARITY HERE!

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ACTORS & FILMMAKERS: Shoot or Act out a Comical Death Scene - it can be a quick death, a murder, or anything you’d like. CONTRIBUTE HERE

FILM COMPOSERS: Compose a Musical Score for our Short Film "First Stars I See Tonight." CONTRIBUTE HERE

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Come work w/ us!

Written by rcjohnso and performed live by Neil Patrick Harris &amp; RegularJOE, "Love: A Tragedy" is a short film that is included on "hitRECorderly #3: Presenting The Fall Formal," the third issue of our quarterly subscription series.
WATCH “LOVE: A TRAGEDY&#8221; HERE
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Subscribe to get all 4 hitRECorderly issues for $59 HERE.
Purchase hitRECorderly #3 individually for $20 HERE.

Written by rcjohnso and performed live by Neil Patrick Harris & RegularJOE, "Love: A Tragedy" is a short film that is included on "hitRECorderly #3: Presenting The Fall Formal," the third issue of our quarterly subscription series.

WATCH “LOVE: A TRAGEDY” HERE

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Subscribe to get all 4 hitRECorderly issues for $59 HERE.

Purchase hitRECorderly #3 individually for $20 HERE.

WATCH TODAY’S “REGULARITY” HERE!
Week 4 of TV Production begins with BIG NEWS &#8212;- TICKETS GO ON SALE TOMORROW for our biggest show of the season: THE ORPHEUM in Downtown L.A.
The show&#8217;ll be on Saturday, August 10th &amp; we hope you can make it! :oD
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Come work w/ us on today’s collaborations: 
* Q&amp;A &#8220;Limitations &amp; Benefits&#8221; RE: MONEY - CONTRIBUTE HERE
* &#8220;hitRECord On TV&#8221; at The Masonic Lodge - CONTRIBUTE HERE
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Thanks again &lt;3
J

WATCH TODAY’S “REGULARITY” HERE!

Week 4 of TV Production begins with BIG NEWS —- TICKETS GO ON SALE TOMORROW for our biggest show of the season: THE ORPHEUM in Downtown L.A.

The show’ll be on Saturday, August 10th & we hope you can make it! :oD

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Come work w/ us on today’s collaborations: 

* Q&A “Limitations & Benefits” RE: MONEY - CONTRIBUTE HERE

* “hitRECord On TV” at The Masonic Lodge - CONTRIBUTE HERE

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Thanks again <3

J